This time three years ago, I was waking up in a police cell once again. My whole body was throbbing and painful. My head was pounding more than usual as i slowly rose from under a thin sheet. Anxiety rushed through me as i realised where I was.
When I was sober enough, I was taken to be interviewed and informed that I was arrested after officers had found me running into oncoming traffic topless and delirious.
I wanted the world to swallow me up in that moment. I was so ashamed and embarrassed of myself.
I didn’t plan on changing my life that day. But hitting rock bottom has a way of making the choice for you.
Alcohol had become my escape for many years. It dulled the constant noise in my head and numbed the sadness I carried inside me every day. For a moment, it gave me relief. But the cost was always higher than the comfort.
I’d wake up in hospitals, police cells, stranger’s homes, bus shelters, even in the middle of the woods. Each time, I felt the same wave of fear and shame. And still, I kept drinking.
Then came the day I couldn’t do it anymore. I’d reached my breaking point. Sitting in that police cell ashamed and broken made me realise that I didn’t want to lose Stephen! If I couldn’t stop for myself then I had to do it for him.
That was the last time I consumed alcohol.
Sobriety hasn’t been easy. It isn’t a quick fix, and it isn’t always smooth. It’s something I’ve had to work on every single day. But it’s worth every step, every struggle, and every moment of choosing to keep going.
Back then, I couldn’t picture a life without drinking. Today, I can’t picture ever going back.
Stephen has been my rock through it all. He believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself, and his love gave me the strength to keep moving forward. Slowly, I began to see that I could build a life worth living. A life I didn’t need to escape from.
If you’re reading this and you’re in the middle of the fight, please hear me when I say there is hope.
Recovery doesn’t mean being perfect. It means choosing one day at a time, not to give up on yourself. It means believing that life can be better than it is right now.
You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just need to take small steps in the right direction. You have to take control of your destiny because no one can do it for you!
If any part of my story resonates with you, I’d love to hear from you. Share your experiences, your goals, or even just a hello.
Other useful numbers you can call if you want to speak to a professional:
Drinkline – 0300 123 1110
Alcoholics Anonymous – 0800 9177 650
Frank – 0300 123 6600
Keep fighting and stay strong!
Terri x
PS: Stephen has also written a book which explores the emotional, social, and psychological toll of drinking through raw honesty, lived experience, and a message of hope.
If you would like to read more, our book Alcohol – The Art of Robbery is available now and offers both insight and encouragement for anyone affected by alcohol, whether personally or through loved ones.
We’ve also launched a petition calling for supermarkets to stop placing alcohol at checkouts and entrances, to make everyday shopping easier for those in recovery and to reduce exposure for vulnerable people.
If you’d like to support us, you can buy the book and/or sign the petition, every little action helps spread awareness and makes a difference.
You got this!
Terri x
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